Every family has tough times. Spouses. Siblings. Parents. Kids. No relationship is perfect. People living together are bound to irritate each other occasionally, especially as we grow and change, moving through different phases of life together.
However, there’s a difference between typical family tensions and a family in crisis. If your family consistently experiences these three issues, it’s time to take action and get the help you need:
#1: FREQUENT ARGUING
A healthy family is a safe place for freedom and expression. Arguments happen. Spouses disagree. Siblings fight. People get angry and lash out at the ones they love. Does it seem like all your family does is argue? Do you feel like you’re unable to communicate calmly and honestly?
Your family may be caught in a trap of anger and negativity. Stop arguing right now. It doesn't solve anything. Anger only turns small problems into large ones. It’s all too easy to say hurtful things we don’t mean in the heat of an argument, but those angry words can cause real damage to your family.
#2: LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Is your family a safe place for expression? Can every member of the household speak honestly and freely? Is there fear of judgment or punishment?
A lack of communication can often lead to big angry outbursts, as bottled-up feelings burst in unhealthy ways. If your family prefers to avoid discussing important issues, be prepared for ongoing conflict. Expressing your feelings can make you vulnerable but we shouldn’t be embarrassed to be our true selves among our household members.
It’s important to focus on improving family communication, even if it means getting help from a professional to guide you.
#3 SECRETS
Keeping secrets can lead to a toxic environment between family members. Your secrets can control you. It takes effort to keep it hidden and the thought of it occupies your mind. They create anxiety and stress. Secrets can isolate you from your family and create distance between you and the ones you love.
Yet, the main issue isn’t necessarily the secret itself, but the lack of trust between family. What prevents you from sharing your secrets?
WHERE TO GET HELP
There is no shame in asking for help when it comes to solving your family problems. An unbiased expert can help examine your issues and lead you toward a solution that suits everyone.
A family advisor can provide professional guidance and offer invaluable insight to better understand your familial bonds. If you need the best advice about living with the people you love, contact a family counselor.
