Dear Oracle,
I graduated from college just over a year ago and moved to a new city to start my career at my dream job. I’m lucky to be able to do what I love in a great city but there’s definitely a down side to this new phase of my life — I’m super lonely.
I live alone and most of my colleagues are much older than me. My closest friend is an hour away. I rarely interact with women by own age, let alone have opportunities to make friends. I’m tired of staying home every night watching TV by myself. I miss having a social life and having people to do fun things with, and I especially miss having a friend to just hang out and do nothing with.
I feel like I’m going to be lonely forever. How do people make friends after college?
Lonesome Lynn
Dear Lynn,
You’ve spent most of your life, thus far, surrounded by your peers. School offers tons of opportunities to find like-minded people and form bonds over shared interests and experiences. Once you graduate and move into adulthood, making friends gets more challenging for most people. Since you’re in a situation where you’re removed from your existing social circle, it’s no wonder you’re feeling lonely.
Making new friends in adulthood often requires a bit of courage to step out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there. Here are my top tips for you to start making those social connections:
Explore your city. Don’t hold back from fun experiences just because you’re flying solo. Check out everything you city has to offer and you never know when you’ll run into someone new and interesting.
Sign up for a workshop, class or sports league. Like school, bonds are easier to form when you’ve got something in common. Pursue a passion of yours to find people you like the same stuff you do.
Give your coworkers a chance. Don’t let age stop you from befriending your coworkers. Once you’re adult, age becomes a little less important than it used to. Plus, connecting with your colleagues can introduce you to other social experiences.
At the end of the day, all you can do is be patient. You can’t force friendships. Just remind yourself that it will happen, eventually. All you can do is keep an open mind and seek out new experiences.
Yours in light & love,
Oracle
