Dear Oracle,
About a year ago, I agree to let an acquaintance move in with my roommate and I. He was a friend of a friend I’d met a few times and always thought was cute but honestly out of my league. When we needed a third roommate and he was looking for a place, it seemed like a good fit. We were both in pretty serious relationships at the time so I didn’t think anything of my past little crush.
Fast forward a few months, we both find ourselves single and, as roommates, start spending a ton of time together. Our other roommate travels a lot for work so we’d eat dinner together almost every night, watch TV for hours and just have fun. Then it started to feel a bit couple-y. I was his date for a work function. He came with me to a friend’s wedding. I had minor surgery and he doted on me for days.
Then, about two months ago, he kissed me. We made out. Sparks were flying but he pulled back and said it was a bad idea. We didn’t talk about it at all. Things were a little awkward for a couple days but now it feels like we’re back and close as ever. I can’t help but feel like he’s into me but worried about the whole roommate complication. Of course, I could be reading the situation wrong and about to ruin a great friendship and lose a roommate.
Either way, I’m head over heels for him. Help!
Rebecca the Roommate
Dear Rebecca,
You’re right, this is a risk. If he’s not into you or you give it a go and it doesn’t work out, you’ll have to find a new roommate. Then again, maybe you’re one of those lucky people who sees a great friendship blossom into an incredible romantic relationship.
First, ask yourself if it’s worth the risk. Do you have genuine feelings for him or is it just a physical attraction? Getting with someone we’ve lusted after in the past can be exciting, just be sure you’re not letting that lust carry you away.
On the other hand, if the feelings are real, then the risk is worth it. Plus, if the feelings are legit and you keep it to yourself, do you want to be around when he starts dating someone new? Life is too short not to take chances so tell him how you feel. Just be prepared that it may not go well, and you might want to hide out in your room for a few days.
If he reciprocates the feelings, remind yourself to take things slow. Just because you live together, doesn’t mean you should fast-track the relationship. Keep boundaries and give each other space. And also let your third roommate know — a new couple in the mix can create some level of risk for residents!
Yours in light & love,
The Oracle
